First Few Days as a New Mom

I have to admit: my first days at home as a new mom were nothing like I expected. I was nothing like I expected.

I heard how hard it could be adjusting to a new baby, and trust me, it was. As someone who majored in early childhood development in college, I thought I would know all the do’s and don'ts. But things are different when you finally have to care for a baby of your own.

After waiting so long to become a mom though, I didn’t mind the dirty diapers, the spit-up, and the late nights. When you’ve been praying for the opportunity to hold a newborn, all the little moments are truly blessings and enjoyable. They’re a dream.

During the waiting period with Lakelyn (which is the period after we brought her home, but before she was legally ours with the state), there were moments when I truly feared laying her down or leaving her alone. The only time I really did lay her down was to change her diaper. I slept upstairs in the guest room with her—something I swore I would never do—but after waiting so long, I couldn’t handle being more than a few feet away from her. And I never was.

Every time Lakelyn cried for a diaper change or a bottle, I felt like she was crying for me. I remember in the beginning people would often ask me, “So, how’s mom life? Are you tired yet?” But the truth was, I wasn’t tired at all.

My son Trice—teeny, tiny Trice—was so small I was genuinely nervous to leave him in a room alone, so we put his crib in our room for a few months until he could sleep through the night. He was nine days old when we got him, but just as I did with my girls, I wore him in a baby carrier as much as possible and rarely put him down. Of all my babies, I felt like Trice loved it the most. I know every book, doctor, and baby expert says not to do that, but I’m not the person to ever ask for baby advice! In my opinion, the baby years go by way too fast, so I say hold them as much as possible. It’s your baby. Pick them up!

With Violet— oh, my sweet Violet—my first few days with her were full of fear. Fear of when to go home (since we spent our first days together in a hotel room), fear of how Lakelyn and Trice were doing back home, fear of the unknown.

Violet was my real dose of a newborn. She had colic and acid reflux and would scream for hours. There was one time when, after 48 hours of no sleep, I cried my way to the doctor’s office and told him I thought Violet hated me and something had to be wrong. That’s when we found out she had a dairy allergy.

My house had never looked worse during this time. I had laundry piled up the walls, dishes overflowing in the sink, and I hadn’t washed my hair in days. But even through all that, I was so thankful. I just held Violet. I spent days holding her tight while I also played on the floor with Trice and Lakelyn.

My first few days home with my babies didn’t look normal in a traditional sense, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Whatever you’re expecting once you bring your child home, I bet it will beat all your expectations. And if it doesn’t look like what you think it should, just wait. I bet it gets better.

There were multiple nights when I slept with all three babies in my bed just because that was the only way we were all going to get some rest. I already miss it. I already miss them being babies. Don’t rush any stage. Your house can wait. Enjoy every minute and soak it all in.

Because while you’ll always remember the first time they talk and walk, I’m learning that their “lasts” are even harder. The last time they fit in a bassinet, a baby swing, and a baby carrier all come with a surprising punch of heartbreak. So, try not to get overwhelmed about motherhood and life with a new baby or child in your home. Whatever phase they’re in, and whatever mild (or massive) chaos you’re managing, I promise you will miss it all sooner than you’d think!